Non-Comms win Road to Bonnaroo/WRATH OF THE HIPPIES soon to come

February 23, 2010

The Non-Commissioned Officers will be playing at Bonnaroo this summer as they are the winners of the first Road to Bonnaroo series. The twitter-verse was abuzz this morning with retweets galore about the news. Look for my photos on the Nashville Cream later this morning. I have to say I had a hard time choosing between the Non-Comms and The Privates, and my ballot choice shall remain a mystery.

It must be pointed out that Nashville’s own jam-band superstars Moon Taxi were on this bill. It must also be pointed out that they probably put more effort into preparing for this show than any other band on the bill. They had their own special moving lights, as well as some really cool glowstick outfits. While that kind of effort and showmanship is great, it has to be backed up by GOOD SONGS. There has never been a jam-band that could write good songs. There will never be a jam-band that can write good songs because that’s part of what makes them a jam-band. Their songs all sound the fucking same because they pointlessly noodle around on guitar solos for hours on end. Ultimately that’s why the judges vote counts 50% of the score at this event- because the judges can see through the flashy lights and understand that there’s a major core component that’s missing in Moon Taxi’s music- the SONG. I heard someone say “well, they’re the perfect band to play Bonnaroo…” NO THEY’RE NOT. THERE ARE ENOUGH FUCKING JAM-BANDS AT BONNAROO ALREADY.

It was quite clear that they did the best job of crowd-recruiting, however, and I’m fairly sure they won the crowd vote for that reason. (That’s also another reason judges count for 50% of the vote.) It was evident that they have an army of hippies ready and willing to execute their every command, and for that reason I recommend that the Scene and Mercy Lounge hire round-the-clock security, because the WRATH OF THE HIPPIES is soon to come. Specifically be on the lookout for patchouli smoke grenades and dreadlock-wax napalm.

Oh, and Born Empty probably still thinks Incubus is cool.

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